If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
