no, he came in my armpit
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
