Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How does it feel to date your dad?
COCAINE IS GR8
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
