My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i think my cat just said my name.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
