how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize