Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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