Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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