I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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