but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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