i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
