Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
