NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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