He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
