I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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