Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
