Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You need a sexual gate keeper
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
