I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
