I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you didnt know i had herpes?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
