I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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