Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
