Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm at about main and main street
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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