So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
