I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
