im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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