your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The Olympian is in my bed
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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