Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
