ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
