Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
