I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
