A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
