The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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