I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
