I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
