he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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