you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
