do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
