Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Let's get the cat blown out
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