no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
