if you like me you must not know who I am
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
