he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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