i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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