do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
