HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
