I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
