Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
