I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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