so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
