How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
