I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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