Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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