i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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