If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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