Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
