addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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