I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
