I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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