problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
