every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
