Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
