By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize