Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
