So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
